[RHDNBot]

Update By: Polinym

Last year, Polinym  released the most up-to-date version of his hack EightBound, which turns EarthBound into a Final Fantasy game. It combines elements of all of the first nine games to create an epic Final Fantasy adventure. Players can check out the original hack here: https://www.romhacking.net/hacks/4874/, or see its trailer in the related link.

EightBound was intended to be a very challenging hack that was still accessible to less skilled players. However, Polinym received many complaints about the difficulty. In response, Polinym has created a brand new edition of EightBound that caters to casual gamers.

Why Regal? Because this hack gives you the royal treatment!

Introducing EightBound Regal! Regal creates a whole new experience for players of all skill levels to be able to beat. Even a beginner who has never played an RPG before can reach an ending! Features of EightBound Regal include:

  - Cheat protection has been removed!

  - Significantly lowered encounter rates!

  - A faster adventure that doesn't waste more of your oh-so precious time!

  - A never-before-seen story arc!

  - New characters!

  - New abilities!

  - New bosses!

  - A revamped interface!

The creator of the hack also wishes to make this statement:
To all those who thought that EightBound was too difficult, Polinym is so sorry for all the pain my hack has put you through. He never realised that you have to cheat past the struggles you encounter in lif-,er, games. He is now a changed man. Now Polinym says that if your situation ever becomes too painful to endure, remember: it's okay for you to escape your problem. He doesn't want a single one of you players to think that an unfair reality you've been forced into is the only one that you have to live. Your ability to play EarthBound hacks on your computer is an amazing miracle. You deserve to spend your days in happiness.

Dreams can come true! No more tears!

Finally, Polinym wishes to reiterate that live reactions are the most helpful form of feedback for improving ROMHacks. The uploading of video playthroughs with commentary is highly encouraged. Also, he requests that commenters and reviewers refrain from posting spoilers for this hack's new story.

RHDN Project Page

Relevant Link

[ChrisHighwind]

Not to be rude, but that statement sounds horrifically sarcastic and condescending, and I'm convinced this is an April Fool's joke.

I mean, yeah, I got turned off of Eightbound due to the difficulty it was stated to have, but that's just because I'm not a fan of Kaizo or very hard hacks. If other people like a challenge, hey, more power to them. But the statement just really rubs me the wrong way and makes me hesitant to download this in case I play it and it's nothing but a bunch of jabs and insults at the player for not wanting to play the original hack because of its difficulty.

[Polinym]

It's not just a bunch of insults, it's a lighthearted fun experience. It'll all 'click' at a certain point in the game, not terribly long after the beginning. Especially if you pick up on the references.

[Hamlet]

Not to be rude, but that statement sounds horrifically sarcastic and condescending, and I'm convinced this is an April Fool's joke.

I mean, yeah, I got turned off of Eightbound due to the difficulty it was stated to have, but that's just because I'm not a fan of Kaizo or very hard hacks. If other people like a challenge, hey, more power to them. But the statement just really rubs me the wrong way and makes me hesitant to download this in case I play it and it's nothing but a bunch of jabs and insults at the player for not wanting to play the original hack because of its difficulty.

Yes, I agree. The ignorance, arrogance and childishness here is truly astounding. I used my oh-so precious time to write a review for this. Instead of updating the rom I have on my PC and Retropie, I will just delete it without ever playing it.

Here's my review in case it gets rejected:
I have not yet played Eigthbound, and after reading this I definitely will never do so. I had the original hack on my PC months over months (If I remember correctly I also updated it, when I saw an update for it on RHDN.). I did not play this up until now not because I thought it was too difficult, I just could not find the time YET.
Look, most of us gamers who play these SNES hacks, have been around when the original SNES came out. We played Earthbound, Chrono Trigger and/or other games as children back in the day on the real console. We feel a fond nostalgia for these retro games and that's why we love hacks of our childhood favorites or translations of games that back in the day have only been released in Japan. But guess what, that also makes us mostly 30+ years old human beings, many of us are parents at this point, almost all of us have jobs we need to work, we are not children anymore, we are adults with a hugely limited supply of free time, because there is so much real life stuff that has to take priority over gaming.
The same thing goes for many contributors on this website. It sometimes takes years for the translators and hackers to release a patch after it was announced to being worked on. And personally I am totally fine with that. They have to use their limited precious free time to bring the patch to life, too.
Now this reaction here reminds me somewhat of my six year old. The way I see it is this. Had your hack been the masterpiece you apparently think it is (as seen by your reaction to claims of imbalanced difficulty), then you could have just brushed this off, as these would have been illegitimate complaints. Now the existence of this patch seem to indicate that there is some truth to the complaints, but instead of just providing a second patch in good faith to widen the scope of the player base and being inclusive of the people with little spare time, you react condescendingly and disrespectful. (As if you were forced by these cry babies to change your perfect hack.)
I can deal with this kind of behavior in my six year old, because he grows through phases and eventually will mature and get a better understanding of things. This behavior coming from an adult. Sorry, neither time nor patience to deal with this.
The funny thing is, that my son loves these retro games. He loves to play games on our Retropie. We already finished a couple games like 7th Saga or Secret of Mana, and he even started  a game of Earthbound (not yet finished). This is definitely a hack I will not be showing to him.
I don't recommend playing this hack or supporting the creator(s), as this seems like a sure recipe for more childish future drama and who needs more of that?

[Special]

The level of butt-hurt is really something in that news post, maybe the biggest one I've ever seen, at least on these forums, and this is a ROM hacking community, that's really an achievement in itself, be proud of that my man!

And I guess I should feel honored that this hack is "dedicated" to me, according to the Readme anyway, unfortunately now this porridge is too cold, oh my. Really now I just feel kinda bad about this whole thing, that you spent probably a ton of your free time just to try and please people like me and well... na. But hey, maybe you can get it right on the third try? Or maybe just do a Youtube lets play of it of something, that way I, and maybe others can too, experience this masterpiece as it plays as background noise while we vacuum or do other things with our time, that way everyone can win then! (Well not really you, you'll never get that time back. )

[Sliver X]

Sliver X thinks the level of self-importance and emotional fragility the author is demonstrating makes this a must not play for him.

[Polinym]

I'm not actually really bothered that much about people not wanting to play my hack as much as my news article may suggest. I was a tad miffed back when I released EightBound 1.3, but that fissled out quickly. It inspired me to start working on a sarcastic joke hack like this, and ended up abandoning it. Since April Fool's day was rolling around, and I didn't want to waste the work, I tried the joke anyway.

Looks like I may have gone too far in my sarcasm. My "escape your problems" spiel? I'm quoting a certain fictional psychologist that's closely associated with this hack. Everything here is supposed to be funny, but I can see how it might not sound that way. Especially since I couldn't post it as a quote in first-person due to the system requiring that I never speak in first-person.

I'm sorry to those who took my sarcastic ranting seriously. I get the whole "not having a ton of time" thing. That's why I only released this small one and not the bigger EarthBound hacks I've been working on. People can play what they like, how they like. Heck, I liked to cheat back when I played Terraria so I didn't have to spend an eternity grinding enemies for a rare drop.

Lesson learned for me here: dial back the sarcasm, be aware how lines will come across if people aren't familiar with the references you're making, know what's going too far.

Also, my descriptions of this hack, and even the screenshots, are accurate but meant to be misleading. There are many twists and different endings to this hack. Things are not as they seem.

[Hamlet]

Alright, I might have greatly misjudged you, sorry for that, and thanks for clearing this up in this manner. I'll make sure my “review” will not be published.
But then I have a question concerning the hack because now I am totally confused. Is this meant as a joke hack, meaning that it is not the full game just like a side story to the original hack, or is it the same hack just with added features?

[ChrisHighwind]

I'm not actually really bothered that much about people not wanting to play my hack as much as my news article may suggest. I was a tad miffed back when I released EightBound 1.3, but that fissled out quickly. It inspired me to start working on a sarcastic joke hack like this, and ended up abandoning it. Since April Fool's day was rolling around, and I didn't want to waste the work, I tried the joke anyway.

Looks like I may have gone too far in my sarcasm. My "escape your problems" spiel? I'm quoting a certain fictional psychologist that's closely associated with this hack. Everything here is supposed to be funny, but I can see how it might not sound that way. Especially since I couldn't post it as a quote in first-person due to the system requiring that I never speak in first-person.

I'm sorry to those who took my sarcastic ranting seriously. I get the whole "not having a ton of time" thing. That's why I only released this small one and not the bigger EarthBound hacks I've been working on. People can play what they like, how they like. Heck, I liked to cheat back when I played Terraria so I didn't have to spend an eternity grinding enemies for a rare drop.

Lesson learned for me here: dial back the sarcasm, be aware how lines will come across if people aren't familiar with the references you're making, know what's going too far.

Also, my descriptions of this hack, and even the screenshots, are accurate but meant to be misleading. There are many twists and different endings to this hack. Things are not as they seem.

Well, while it is a joke hack, I appreciate your apology for coming off as condescending. It's true, I am unfamiliar with what the quote was a reference to and took it as a mean-spirited jab towards those who prefer easier hacks. Of course, what also contributed towards my irritation regarding the statement was the observation that many, if not most hackers of Nintendo games will always make their hacks far harder than the original game (See 75% of Pokemon hacks, especially those of later gens, and Mother 2 Deluxe), that, as someone who quite liked the easy difficulty of the original games, can bar me from experiencing the content of the hacks that I actually want to experience.

Now that you've clarified you meant no ill will towards those who prefer easier games, I might give this a try, though my inherent dislike of joke hacks may make it so I wait until I get enough information to be in on the joke.

[Chaud]

All in all, I think it's an over-the-top, unnecessary drama.

I mean, my time is, in fact, precious. I feel no shame in acknowledging that, I think that every person with common sense thinks the same about their own time. Whether or not this is a self-deprecating and sarcastic joke about the investment of time required to get ahead in the game, it is a fact that for many people, the older you become, the more your free time becomes precious.

And this is not a criticism of the hack or anything like that, just a recognition that not every game is for every player. Like the famous "git gud" meme that was so common at the launch of the first Dark Souls, not every game resonates with all players. There are people who are not willing to spend 40-50 or more hours of their life with a game until they are good enough to play it well, and this is perfectly valid. It's definitely time that you can use for a lot of other things and feel that it was much better spent. But equally, there is nothing wrong with those who decide to spend their time playing games like that, too.

God knows that I would have never completed Battletoads (Genesis) if I had played it today. Only the obsession and free time of a 6 year old child is enough to dedicate straight afternoons/nights to memorize every move to get through each stage. Today? There is no way I would spend my time on it. That doesn't make Battletoads a bad game per se, but it's definitely not a game for me as it is. I wouldn't waste my time on it, it would be a huge loss. If I replay the first 4 or 5 levels I will just get a gameover screen and then go do something else, so I just use a cheat to have infinite lives (or save states), then I can advance in the game.

By the way, the "anti-cheat" here is (or was) the most curious/funny thing. I find it amusing how some developers go to such lengths to try to determine that people have to enjoy their games in a very specific way. I mean, it's your vision, obviously you can do whatever you want. But it's still curious to reflect on the motivation behind it, "no, you can't enjoy the game in that particular way, it's forbidden"! Ah, obviously I see the logic of this in competitive multiplayer games, for sure. But it's not the first time I've seen this attitude in single-player game developers, it's always interesting to see.

Anyway, I'm happy for the people who wanted to enjoy the hack and couldn't, I hope they now get the experience they wanted all along!

[Polinym]

I guess I should've expected that not many people were going to make the connection (of course, with such little feedback to go off it's difficult to judge my audience's reaction ). Nevertheless, I figured I might as well give people a chance to 'get the joke'.

If you wanna know what's going on, check this out:

Spoiler:

You know, jokes aren't funny when you explain them. Are you sure you want spoilers?

Spoiler: