11 March 2016 - Forum Rules
Started by reconstructingmana, June 02, 2020, 02:13:32 AM
Quote from: CoolCatBomberMan on November 21, 2020, 02:38:38 AMNot a bad effort! All that's missing is a patch to fix the title screen. I didn't notice one looking through this site, but who knows? Maybe there's one floating around somewhere......
Quotenot sure if arrogant is the right adjective here. your notes mention "excessive", which works better, I think. maybe consider "domineering" or even "proud", or making reference to the humans instead:
Quote from: ManaRedux on November 25, 2020, 09:46:41 AMV1.3 has been posted; and V1.4 is right around the corner. We've made over 300 edits since we launched last week. There's too many things to mention here, but the script is in far better shape. Most of it was fat trimming: over 1% of the text has been excised since V1.0. I am concentrating on Luka and Jema's dialogue right now.
Quote from: 43Hey, if it isn't RANDI.An amazing lightappeared in the sky alittle while ago. Itseemed to be in thedirection of thewaterfall.
Quote from: 46There's a man in thepub I'm not used toseeing around. I don'tknow how to describeit...you should see thelook in his eyes. It'sscary!
Quote from: 58ELDER:Idiots! I saiddon't go there! You haveconducted yourselveslike total brats!
Quote from: 62ELLIOTT:Ooooh!Maybe you found thetreasure!?
Quote from: 64ELDER:Oh, bloody hell!The Mana Sword hasbeen removed!Everyone thought itcouldn't come loose,but...
Quote from: 65TIMOTHY:Whoa! I'veheard of the ManaSword. There's a legendthat the village will beannihilated if it's pulledout...
Quote from: 67That legend says thatthis Sword has beenwith us to protect thevillage. It's been drawnnow...
Quote from: 72ELLIOT:Get back here!
QuoteJ is literally "Wait!"with a coarse masculineending. There is adistant possibility thatthis was supposed to bethe Elder speaking, akinto, "Hold it, you two!'.
Quote from: 80TRAVELER:Welldone! Wait, and I willpull you up.
Quote from: 86But you are too young.Something hashappened to it...
Quote from: 89It must be revived, butthat can only be done bythe one who took it. So Ican not...
Quote from: 91TRAVELER:It wouldbe good for you to hearRusa Luka at the WaterPalace. For 200 years,Luka has steadilywatched over theselands and would havegood wisdom for you.
Quote from: 103You heard us! Get outnow!
Quote from: 108If you're in the village,disaster will come tous...Please, get out!
Quote from: 111Hey, RANDI...mybuddy, goingsomewhere? Have agood trip!
QuoteJ. "big brother", butthis could imply afamilial relationship inEnglish.
Quote from: 112ELDER:As it is, even Ican't do more for you---you, who was not avillager by birth. Please,forgive me.
Quote from: 114When you were a child,you came with yourmother to this villagefrom somewhereunknown.
Quote from: 115But she soon wentmissing.
QuoteYour mother broughtyou to this village whenyou were just a baby.Soon afterwards, shedisappeared...
Quote from: 123By order of the Elder,you are hereby banishedfrom Potos Village.Now, get out!
Quote from: Viewer on November 29, 2020, 05:46:50 PMThere is a difference between "keeping it close to the Japanese script" and "overlaying the Japanese grammar and sentence structure", though. I understand how hard you've worked on this script, but if you look at a sentence and can't naturally picture it being said that way in English (not counting words spoken in an unusual dialect or speaking manner), it deserves a revision - because the absolute most important thing to get across in either language is clarity.
Quote from: AdamDravian on November 29, 2020, 08:33:04 PMFor what it's worth, I agree with Dzumeister about the lines he pointed out as being awkward. His suggested changes are good, though I would use a few more contractions.
Quote from: ManaRedux on November 29, 2020, 08:45:24 PMNow: The ebb and flow of water convey knowledge about events throughout the world.
Quote from: ManaRedux on November 29, 2020, 08:45:24 PMBefore: It'll probably take time, but I'm certain she'll return to how she was.Now: It'll probably take time, but I'm certain she'll be as good as new.
Quote from: ManaRedux on November 29, 2020, 08:45:24 PMBefore: Because I didn't want to die, I pretended that I had this illness. Share that with no one!Now: Because I didn't want to die, I faked having this illness. Don't tell anyone!
Quote from: AdamDravian on November 30, 2020, 09:02:35 AMThat works, but I'd personally go with something like this (I added the previous line for context):As for Pamela, you don't need to worry.It might take a while, but she'll fully recover.
Quote from: ManaRedux on November 29, 2020, 08:45:24 PMBefore: Conveyed by the flow of water, I know of happenings throughout the world.Now: The ebb and flow of water convey knowledge about events throughout the world.
Quote from: Memorex on November 30, 2020, 01:58:33 PMFar what it's worth, I'm all for the changes Adam proposed. Especially the one about Pamela. Without the added context I would haveassumed it was refering to an object like a sword (..or a car) As for the soldier, iirc the french script read something like "My life is too precious, so I faked being sick", which sounds even more comic to me. Just a little anecdote, not a suggestion Keep up the good work!
Quote from: ManaRedux on December 01, 2020, 05:28:51 AMIt's very common for a doctor to tell you you're as good as new.
Quote from: Taosenai on November 30, 2020, 11:13:54 PMSo glad to see this project come to fruition. ManaRedux has worked way too hard on it--it took him far, far longer to align every line of every English translation of the game ever done, to re-localize the text from multiple sources, to prepare the commentary, to lay everything out for text insertion, etc. than it did for me to hastily translate the original Japanese. That's not to even mention what Queue has been doing to make everything actually work. If other folks have questions about the original Japanese, I'm happy to provide feedback when I remember to check the thread. At this point, most of the lines in the script have developed their own voice distinct from the direct translation I provided. That's as it should be; anything past textbook Japanese does not translate "literally" into English, and ManaRedux took care to knead in some of the flavor of Woolsey's original in any case while preserving the sentiment of the original Japanese as accurately as he could.That original script is basically workmanlike in most places, but it's poetic when it counts. It's also chock full of fun use of names and ideas from foreign languages, from Dungeons & Dragons, and from the Wizardry games--all well known influences on Square in its golden age. A whole host of French names appear, for example, albeit occasionally used in the same kind of nonsense fashion that English writers sometimes use Japanese words. (I suspect that Emperor Vandole's true name is Emperor Vent d'Or, for example!)Finally, let me share my favorite bit of trivia from the original script. Sergei sings a brief segment of a song about loving the sea in one of his bits of dialogue; I did a bit of digging, and am certain that it's this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbY9ImmYEc Although released in 1976, "Umi sono ai" was featured in the famous New Year's singing content on NHK (Kouhaku Uta Gassen) in 1987, so well within working memory for the game's developers!
Quote from: ManaRedux on December 01, 2020, 01:43:24 PMV1.6 will be released tonightish, and that's the last planned update for now. It has a few hundred(!) more edits similar to those in #87. All of the revisions since V1.0 were in response to the general consensus; we took a look at each line with the project's goals and our original plans in mind. The script has about 2% less text than our first release, and I hope it will be seen as a huge improvement to the experience, even if we couldn't accommodate every request.Taosenai, Queue and myself would like to move this release into maintenance mode, and be more active with other projects. This is only the first release of the SAP! Queue is working on Turbo (including implementing this script), and Taosenai is working on his own script (100% ManaRedux free) based on his very literal translation for this release, as well as developing his own hacking tools for the game. Moving forward, if there's mass backlash against something specific, we'll take a look, but it seems to be in a good place for now. We'll continue to be active on this thread (Taosenai should make an appearance at some point).My recommendation is to actually play V1.6 and enjoy yourself
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