- If you refuse to buy the axe, Watts says, "Really? All right, well come back if you change your mind." I think there's supposed to have a comma after "well", even with Watts' weird broken language.
I took a closer look at this. Changed it to:
"Really? All right. Come back if you change your mind."
He has a colloquial style of speech, but we can get rid of the "well" as it's a bit cumbersome when read.
2) Gnome (after giving the magic): "Alright, I'll be going now; will see you around." Why is there a semi-colon? That seems so weird in a conversation. Maybe it's just me.
Just an editing mistake as it was rewritten. I fixed.
3) When talking to Watts outside, he says somewhere, "it'll be great training." Shouldn't it be "It'll be a great training."? Or maybe dwarves don't use the language properly (due to the lack of the language education, as they're mostly focused on their jobs).
"The making of the Mana Sword is my new cause, and it'll be great training!" I don't understand why that would be capitalized.
4) When you talk to the Pandora queen when she's in the king's room, she says, "My liege, why don't we all be more at east for His Majesty's sake?" She seems like she's talking to the king, but the latter part doesn't seem like she's talking to him, since she talks like His Majesty is another person.
Should be Your Majesty's. Fixed.
5) In Pandora inn (before beating the ruins), the refusal option is, "No, Enough". I don't think "enough" is the right word in this context (I'm sure you meant it as in, "enough is enough"). I'm not sure what the right word would be though (other than the typical "No way!").
That's correct. When you first wrote this, I thought I'd change it to a period, but it's "No. Enough!" in the script, which is how it should be.
6) When you meet Thanatos for the first time, he said "Give up your will in the same manner as [Dyluck]". Dyluck gave up his will? Don't you mean, "Give in", or better yet, "Submit"?
No, that's correct.
8-) After reclaiming the water seed from the scorpion gang, the dialog box of "Took back the water seed" does not close/reopen after the gang says goodbye, making that sentence seem like it's being said by the gang. Maybe it's just me who feel that way.
Queue and I talked about this a lot---there's many dialogue boxes like this in the game. Sometimes we added parentheses.
9) During the new Luka scene after being launched to the Upperland, she says, "He's as worthy a hero as his father before him." Is it "as worthy a hero", or should it be "as a worthy hero"? I'm actually confused as to which is correct.
It's a bit formal, but it's correct.
10)Okay, you probably saw this coming, but when Popoi says how to unlock the path (spring -> winter -> spring), the sentence is definitely weird. "Walk the seasons from Spring to Winter, Spring again and we can enter...". It would sound better if it's, "Walk the seasons from Spring to Winter, then Spring again to enter..."
It's in quotes because it's an homage to Woolsey's poem. And that's how it sounds---poetic.
As a follow up, I did some research on "Sorry about your luck" and you are all correct in that it's not a common thing outside of these parts (rural Maryland). It's one of my most common go to phrases IRL and no one's ever looked at me funny lol...I'll keep thinking on that one.