Being embarassed of your idiot drunken self from 2011

Started by Spooniest, August 11, 2016, 11:26:39 AM

Previous topic - Next topic


...I made a patch for FF6 as my first real project on here. It's aim was to change the way text was displayed, and the way the dialogue "felt" to make FF6 feel more like FF7, and I could not resist throwing in extremely obscure jokes that really didn't make anyone but me laugh in the end, assuming, as anyone with limited knowledge and too much time on their hands (and a supply of booze) would, that these trappings were just "par for the course" in fan made translations that were popular at the time.

I was blissfully unaware of what I was visiting on people, the can of worms that I was opening up. I was like Jackson Pollock, dribbling paint all over the darn canvas without so much as a howdy do, ma'am? ...What was wrong with me?

I've asked for Stand Guard to be taken down but was told it was not going to happen. I guess I just have to stare at the page and think about what I did for the rest of the time I have an active internet connection and am alive.

Any of your work that you'd like wiped off the face of existence because it now embarrasses you?

note - It also does not help that I have utterly ruined FF6 for myself because I had to play through it something like 45 times to get the text all formatted correctly, and I believe there are still formatting errors in many places to this day.  :P

Bahamut ZERO

Wait, Stand Guard's sort-of-a-parody/spoof hack then? If so I might give it a shot, seeing as any other FF6-related spoof hack ended up being stuff like "Potions are diapers but are still potions" or the "everything's about poon, and the hacker's lost interest in actual comedy by the time you hit  Figaro castle".

So if Stand Guard's anything like the FF5 spoof (Lil hit n' miss but DAMN funny) I'd play the hell out of it. Hell that'd probably be the only way I'd be interested in FF6 again at this point.  :laugh:
Like Super Mario Land? Then you'll love my first completed Rom Hack: Maniac on the Run!


Yes, but the jokes are things that I personally found funny and was laughing at at the time I was making it. Fun fact: any lines that are unused in the normal course of the game, in the rom, I replaced with idiotic comedy about bears and too much text being in the game.

Mostly, it plays things straight. You would barely recognize my sense of humor as humor at all, the references to games and movies and stuff are so obscure and in out of the way places that it's not like it's an "in your face thing." I even left in a line that basically was a translation mistake that I made while playing the game that had nothing to do with the game itself. I thought the "Le The" river was supposed to mean "Tea" River at one point.

Turns out that the Lethe River (River of Forgetfulness) is a location in Greek Mythology.

But I stuck the line where I made the mistake in an out of the way place that no one would think to go right after the Imperials find the Returners and the Lethe River sequence begins.

Most people just get on the raft, but if you go talk to everyone in the Returner hideout at that point, you will find my idiocy. :D


Sorry if this is a bit long. I promise it isn't boring. :angel:

Quote from: Spooniest on August 11, 2016, 11:26:39 AMAny of your work that you'd like wiped off the face of existence because it now embarrasses you?

During my senior year in high school (2003/2004) I joined a band called Das Koon (short for Dashboard Koonfessional). They were originally a three-piece of guitar, bass and drums and before I joined they only had one song that only had one note and they would do shows where they played this one-note song over and over again at different speeds (each time introducing it as a new song, the slowest version being "the ballad") until the people organizing the shows would tell them to stop playing or cut the power.

A few months into their existence I joined as a keyboardist and for a short period we very productive. Although I had played keyboards before and had played guitar since I was maybe 8 years old, I was not a keyboardist nor did I even own a keyboard. I played a $17 toy keyboard that the guitarist got for Christmas. While I sometimes had a lot of fun with this band and we made some really cool music said music was not without it's issues. Some of my keyboard parts weren't even in key and many of the songs only had 2 or 3 parts a piece. That being said, the guitar, bass and keyboards almost NEVER did the same thing at the same time. There was a lot of call and response and rhythms that were bouncing off of each other. Sometimes the instruments would be grouped in pairs with the guitar and bass going together while the keys and drums were doing their own thing, all working together in a very strange and complex manner.

Our lyrics and song titles were probably the worst aspect. We had one song that I titled "Cigarettes In the Ashtray (Haha, Butts In Your Face)". When they weren't absolute nonsense they were usually intentionally and horribly offensive. There was a song that was originally titled "Dr. Martin Luther Koon Jr." with the only lyrics being:

"Hang him up
Watch him swing

Once was a king
Now watch him swing

We later shortened the title of it to "Dr. Koon" and the previously mentioned song to just "Cigarettes". We became a little more self-conscious after becoming aware of how cool our music actually was (which effectively ruined the band). While going through some of our old rehearsal tapes I found one song whose title I have since forgetten but it was played in a sing-a-long fashion (almost ballad like) with the lyrics:

"Love you more than a whore loves money
gonna give it to ya
gonna make you walk funny

We were a couple of Shakespeares.

We released two albums, the second mostly being a re-recording of the first in better quality with some of the songs left off, a few new songs added and a solo track from each member. The first CD was recorded in my bedroom over the course of a weekend using one microphone and minimal overdubs. It was very rushed (tracked in two days and I was given about 20 minutes to mix and "master" the whole thing) and I was very dissatisfied with the end results. The second CD was much more polished. We did the rhythm track in my parent's garage with about 8 mics, we each recorded some of our individual parts in the comfort of our owns homes on our own time and this time around I let the guitarist take care of the post-production stuff (I just didn't care anymore).

While Das Koon def had it's good points, sometimes I wish that those recordings didn't exist. I was recently going through many of my old band tapes, transferring them from my 4-track to my laptop and upon reading your post my first band immediately came to mind. To a degree, our music was absolutely brilliant but because of how bad other aspects were I could only describe the music as "brilliantly stupid". Some comparisons I heard were Talking Heads and The Velvet Underground.

Although we were pretty shit in some ways, I do recall that most of the shows we had were tremendous successes. People were absolutely blown away by what we were doing, usually saying things like "I've never heard anything like this". It was especially cool when we once attended a show a few counties over (just as audience members) and upon chit-chatting with some of the locals and revealing that we were from Ohio County one of the people asked "Oh. Do you guys know Das Koon?".
Cigarettes, ice-cream, figurines of the Virgin Mary...




"Dick Kids". A vulgar hack of M.C. kids for the NES. Its half-assed, unfinished, and was never supposed to leave my pc. I thought it was rightfully lost for a long time. I honestly have no idea where the copy floating around the web came from as i don't recall sending it to anyone at the time.

It contains my email address, so there's no way i can even deny it was me.


Anything I made back in 2004-2006(or 2008, I dont even remember) or so(mostly SMW/SMB3 hacks), including my posts to acmlms board(s)(thankfully I got banned, so one cannot find my posts in the archive, or at least pinpoint them since it puts all posts by banned people under same list). Luckily I also lost majority of hacks I made back then, and they seem to have disappeared from internet too. :angel:


Well, I regret a lot of my articles from a long time ago now. A lot of what I said on my first gaming site, as well as on Waluigious just isn't communicated very well. What's more, a lot of the subjects just don't seem to be very interesting except to the odd Mario fan having a drunken fever dream.

Like the one where I swear I predicted Hurricane Katrina due to something I'd been playing before it struck. Yeah, I'm trying to forget about that particular article at the moment.

I also regret Mario End Game, though that's simply because it was super rushed and really poorly designed as far as general difficulty and bosses go. Seriously, design a game or ROM hack because you want it to be fun. Don't design it just to try and be 'flashy' without any consideration of whether anyone will actually enjoy it. Otherwise you'll end up with a game like this one; a very fancy tech demo that kind of fails at being playable.
Like Wario?  If so, check out Wario Forums today!

Similarly, want to test a new gaming site?  Check out Gaming Reinvented! Now in beta!

Sliver X

The first two ROM hacks that I released are pretty shitty, but I can't ignore they were something I decided to put out in the world and added them to the site myself eventually.

If anything, they serve as an example to me for how far I was able to advance in my later works. I feel the same way listening to the shit I wrote on guitar around that age as well.