The comma in between Celes and Shadow shouldn't have been there in the first place. However, the one after Empire's generals is a holdover from the original script and actually belongs there, believe it or not.
I'm pretty sure grammatically it doesn't need to be there, but ok
I like the use of garrote here. It's a brutal Woolseyism that is much more effective of a term than just kill. Have you ever heard of the word before? Think Godfather and what they did to poor Luca Brasi in the bar. Shadow IS an assassin after all...
I know what a garrote is
, but I've never heard it used as a verb. After looking it up, I suppose you could
use it as a verb, in the same way that you could use knife
as a verb.But don't worry... they didn't hire me to knife you.
It doesn't read well to me, but Woolsey4Ever I guess
Plus, it isn't more effective or brutal if not everyone is going to know what it means without having to look it up. Shadow's not exactly being threatening to the party, he's just cold.
"Everyone felt we had begun that war..." That is correct.
never heard it used in that way, and it doesn't sound that strong for the dramatic context it's in. How about:Everyone blamed us as the cause for the war.Everyone felt we were to blame for the war.Everyone felt we were the catalyst for the war.Everyone felt that we were responsible for the war.