Still playing on v2.03.
Weird phrasing. Might be better as: Do his parents know where he is?
Might want to change were
, since they're currently broken.
Might benefit from editing for clarity. The entrance to the Serpent Trench is in the Crescent Mountain
Needs asterisks: *wheeze* *puff*
Edit for clarity. Hey! I told you
once already, I'm not Mr. Thou!!!Tintinnabulum
is missing an n
The stuttering here is awkward. Cyan wouldn't make a 'T' noise here, he'd make a 'Th' sound. Would read better as: Th... this is Sir Gau's treasure?!
This line is a little weird in context of the story. Neither Cyan or Gau have met the other Returners, so it's not like they're "our" friends; they're Sabin's. Consider changing to: But unless we hop in, I can't see my friends again...Lethe
is misspelled here, and I wasn't sure if this instance was fixed yet or not.
Her friend, Humpty, isn't properly capitalized here. You also don't need a comma after modesty
Missing asterisks. Would read better as: And... *rant* *rant* *rant*
Edit for clarity. The three groups/teams/parties have reached Narshe
The Elder's dialogue is a little awkward in terms of the story. Banon's asking the people of Narshe to fight against the Empire, but you don't really get that from what the Elder's saying. Maybe consider changing to: How can YOU ask us to fight/lay down our lives/spill our own blood?
Unnecessary capitalization in Celes' dialogue. Might change to: So, Terra... Who'd
or just have who'd
Unnecessary comma in Arvis' dialogue. Maybe they can help you there
Another unnecessary comma. Figaro Castle can burrow under the desert and take you to Kohlingen!
The following are instances that I found of unnecessary capitalization that may have already been fixed in 2.04, but I'm putting them here in case you may want to go back and double-check.
(sidenote: ripped outta here
is such a weird bit of dialogue coming from Celes)
July 06, 2019, 10:10:01 pm - (Auto Merged - Double Posts are not allowed before 7 days.)
I went through the entire script (including in battle text) and added asterisks to sound effects like coughing, wheezing, etc. I kept the "pswswswsw" bit during the Ma-ma-ma-ma-Magic bit but I added asterisks to help understand that it's a sound effect as well.
All instances of sir have been corrected. King was already fixed, but Your Majesty needed correction as well. The Recovery spring uses the same message from dialogue, and I've already added the punctuation. The rest of the typos have been fixed so far. I completely agree about the use of "Idiotic" so it's now "This...cannot be happening!!!"
As for spells, they were already changed with the name expansion. That's why its Silence, Firaga, Thundaga, etc. They're in a different place in the ROM from where you're looking under the hood.
I don't think the scrolling M
s in that scene (I'm assuming it's the M-M-M-MAGIC?!
one) need asterisks, since it's actually dialogue. Changing it to M-
for each of the scrolling lines would make more sense, I think.
For the whispering dialogue between Edgar and Locke, is there now an Edgar & Locke
caption, or is it still just spaced?