Okay, so ALL of the errors that Dzumeister pointed out have been corrected so far. I think Mumble looks strange when capitalized so I simply decapped it. The "Ah, Rum" line was actually meant to be "Ah! Rum!" The reason I made the item "Knights Code" was because it looks odd as "Knight'sCode" so it was a give and take. I can go either way.
The item name has a space in between Knights
though, so can't it be Knight's Code
, or is that a spacing limitation? If so, I don't think Knight'sCode
is all that weird, but I understand the decision. Anyway, glad these are helping so far Post #1Post #2Post #3
Misspelling of balderdash
Unnecessary capitalization in Mmm?
Not really sure about the question mark here. I think it'd read better as: Yes, sir! Mr. Kefka, sir! How are you today, sir?
There's also some inconsistencies in how the soldiers say sir
during this sequence in the Imperial Camp. Sometimes sir
is capitalized, and other times it's not. Should maybe go back and choose a side.
This one's a small one. I think in Cyan's description, it should read: A noble warrior of a foreign land.
It was mentioned earlier in the topic on when king
should be capitalized, and I think this was the case where it was supposed to be left lower case.
Another case of inconsistencies. Sometimes Your Majesty/Your Highness
capitalized, and then other times it isn't.
My least favorite holdover from the Woolsey translation, I think. Cyan screaming "Idiotic!!!" in the wake of his family's murder is a weird choice. It takes an emotional moment for the character and makes you question why he would say something like that.
Another instance where I think there should be ending punctuation, like an exclamation mark, for Recovery spring
Would read better as: A train is here?!
Misspelling of En garde!
Just wasn't sure why there's conflicting usage of fairy/faerie
I still maintain that reading sound effects in their verb form as dialogue is a bit jarring. Generally, if the character isn't actually saying the word, it should be differentiated. If they're not enclosed in asterisks or dashes, parentheses around them would definitely read better rather than having periods of ellipsis.
(gobble) (snarf) (snap)