News: 11 March 2016 - Forum Rules
Current Moderators - DarkSol, KingMike, MathOnNapkins, Azkadellia, Danke

Author Topic: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]  (Read 482311 times)

Pennywise

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2257
  • I'm curious
    • View Profile
    • Yojimbo's Translations
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #540 on: December 04, 2012, 04:08:06 pm »
Very nice Flash!

That other title is going to be tricky to do. You don't need to recreate the rainbow effect, the game does that automatically. It can be a solid blue or something. Ideally, I'd like to reuse the balloons and was thinking of having "The" be three balloons, "of" being one balloon, and the dot for the two "i's" being two balloons. Making for a grand total of six balloons. I think you'll also have to line up the new design with the shooting star. Many things to consider in this one.

simon, that red squiggly thing is part of the Japanese logo and is a Japanese character.
« Last Edit: December 04, 2012, 08:41:46 pm by Pennywise »

M-Tee

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 595
  • One pixel at a time…
    • View Profile
    • M-Tee Retro Graphics
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #541 on: December 04, 2012, 08:55:50 pm »
@Paul: I see your point in terms of using loanwords. However, I didn't realize that the other games in the franchise had been officially translated before. I do agree with the 'stick with the brand' school. I wouldn't want to see Samurai Shodown ever spelled with a 'w' as example

cj iwakura

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 238
  • The Rhythm Rogue
    • View Profile
    • iwakura.productions
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #542 on: December 04, 2012, 09:15:04 pm »

As for the series' title being tradition, maybe I'm kind of a boat-rocker when it comes to translations, but my general rule these days is: screw tradition when tradition is wrong. There's something to said for a series to be easily recognizable by its fans, but at the same time, I think one of the goals of fan translation should be to improve upon the shortcomings of past translations.

Also, no offense, but I think "The Castle of Shikigami" makes "shikigami" sound even more like a proper noun.

I'm afraid I can't help you on how to redesign that screen. The best I can do is gripe about the title. :)

I guess I've spoken my piece on this, so I'll let it go now.

HTH

Shikigami is a proper noun in this case. It doesn't refer to generic Shikigami, but a very specific array of them.

蒼く咲く華 日は灯り 天に流れる | Kill The Past

Paul Jensen

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 424
    • View Profile
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #543 on: December 05, 2012, 04:40:04 am »
Shikigami is a proper noun in this case. It doesn't refer to generic Shikigami, but a very specific array of them.

Hmmm... I guess it could be considered a proper noun, but even still, "The" would be appropriate. The purpose of "the", among other things is to refer to specific things, including groups. Compare to sports teams like "The Bulls" and "The Bears" (replace "the" with "da" if you're old enough to remember that SNL skit).
Sign THIS!

FlashPV

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 160
    • View Profile
    • Terminus Traductions
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #544 on: December 05, 2012, 05:56:52 am »
@Pennywise: Are you able to move the balloons?
I'd like to try something but I'll need to rearrange the bubbles.

Zynk

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 913
  • WIP Roll-chan: The Wily Wars
    • View Profile
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #545 on: December 05, 2012, 06:35:38 am »
Here's mine! It's coinciding with my Rockman 7 translation.


Wai Wai World


The left the コナミ and ワ一ルド part, esp. the latter b/c its pretty hard to edit it.

simonbelmont2

  • Guest
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #546 on: December 05, 2012, 07:29:53 am »
Pennywise to tell you the truth it's a little harder for normal user to see the の; the normal user will see a foam instead of a Japanese character (I show my friends the picture and didn't recognize the の ). That is my suggestion but it's your translation and your work.
What can I say: can hardly wait to release the translation ;D (you did a great job)

KingMike

  • Forum Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6928
  • *sigh* A changed avatar. Big deal.
    • View Profile
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #547 on: December 05, 2012, 09:27:28 am »
Here's mine! It's coinciding with my Rockman 7 translation.


Wai Wai World


The left the コナミ and ワ一ルド part, esp. the latter b/c its pretty hard to edit it.

I am disappointed people do not call this game by it's proper name, which I just noticed, "Konami Wai Wai (c)1988 Konami TM World". :D
"My watch says 30 chickens" Google, 2018

Crysta

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 56
    • View Profile
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #548 on: December 05, 2012, 11:14:21 am »
Here's mine! It's coinciding with my Rockman 7 translation.


Wai Wai World


The left the コナミ and ワ一ルド part, esp. the latter b/c its pretty hard to edit it.

At a glance, the W's feel too much like V's, probably because the right side of each is covered by the next letter so you get a sense of a solid line sloping up to the right, even though they're obviously not connected that way. Not quite sure the best way to fix that, though.

Maybe make the space on the bottom of the W's more pronounced somehow? Maybe slightly thinner letters? I'm honestly not really sure.
« Last Edit: December 05, 2012, 11:23:18 am by Crysta »

Pennywise

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2257
  • I'm curious
    • View Profile
    • Yojimbo's Translations
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #549 on: December 05, 2012, 12:50:53 pm »
Flash, yes they can be moved.

Zynk

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 913
  • WIP Roll-chan: The Wily Wars
    • View Profile
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #550 on: December 06, 2012, 05:07:07 am »
I am disappointed people do not call this game by it's proper name, which I just noticed, "Konami Wai Wai (c)1988 Konami TM World". :D


Oh yeah, the title should've been "Konami Wai Wai World" (w/o the (c) part...really). ::)
The word コナミ I could fix, but the big ワ一ルド part is very complicated because it has this code where it multiplies the same tiles, esp. those blank tiles in between sprited tiles. That can be easily seen on the white bar with "(c)1988 KonamiTM".

At a glance, the W's feel too much like V's, probably because the right side of each is covered by the next letter so you get a sense of a solid line sloping up to the right, even though they're obviously not connected that way. Not quite sure the best way to fix that, though.

Maybe make the space on the bottom of the W's more pronounced somehow? Maybe slightly thinner letters? I'm honestly not really sure.


That's the space limit for the words I crammed in those boxes. If I add hex code for those tiles that weren't there in the first place, the TS would get messy.
First I tried [W] [AI] but then I tried the WORLD part, I didn't anticipated it's complexity.


JAT, when viewing it in yy-chr, there is a letter-H placed in there, maybe they were planning on the word PUSH, but there were no letter-P.

FlashPV

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 160
    • View Profile
    • Terminus Traductions
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #551 on: January 02, 2013, 06:11:05 pm »
It took me some time but I guess it's not bad:


Pennywise

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2257
  • I'm curious
    • View Profile
    • Yojimbo's Translations
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #552 on: January 02, 2013, 09:51:08 pm »
I like it :thumbsup:

I'll have to see what the translator says, but I think he'll be pleased.

I got another one if you're interested Flash.



The title I'm going with is Bionic Commando - The Return of Hitler. Do you think you could combine the elements between the Japanese and English title screens? There's aspects of both I like.
« Last Edit: January 02, 2013, 09:57:39 pm by Pennywise »

DarknessSavior

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5031
  • Darkness.
    • View Profile
    • DS: No, not the Nintendo one.
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #553 on: January 02, 2013, 10:18:21 pm »
Are you sure you want to go with "Return of Hitler"? In English that could imply that this happened around WW2 and he never died or something and is still around for more havoc. In Japanese 復活 says that Hitler was resurrected. I'm assuming the army of bad guys in the game are responsible.

~DS
Red Comet: :'( Poor DS. Nobody loves him like RC does. :'(
Sliver-X: LET ME INFRINGE UPON IT WITH MY MOUTH
DSRH - Currently working on: Demon's Blazon, Romancing SaGa, FFIV EasyType.
http://www.youtube.com/user/DarknessSavior

Pennywise

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2257
  • I'm curious
    • View Profile
    • Yojimbo's Translations
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #554 on: January 02, 2013, 11:56:47 pm »
I figured this would be brought up. For me, return is more ambiguous but more or less means the same thing. I just prefer return and I guess is somewhat inspired by Return of the Jedi. The intro lists the time in which the game takes place, so arguments of when the game takes are stupid and pointless.

DarknessSavior

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5031
  • Darkness.
    • View Profile
    • DS: No, not the Nintendo one.
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #555 on: January 03, 2013, 12:17:30 am »
I figured this would be brought up. For me, return is more ambiguous but more or less means the same thing. I just prefer return and I guess is somewhat inspired by Return of the Jedi. The intro lists the time in which the game takes place, so arguments of when the game takes are stupid and pointless.
Except in Japanese "Return of the Jedi" is ジェダイの帰還. Return vs. Resurrection. There's a BIG difference.

~DS
Red Comet: :'( Poor DS. Nobody loves him like RC does. :'(
Sliver-X: LET ME INFRINGE UPON IT WITH MY MOUTH
DSRH - Currently working on: Demon's Blazon, Romancing SaGa, FFIV EasyType.
http://www.youtube.com/user/DarknessSavior

Pennywise

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2257
  • I'm curious
    • View Profile
    • Yojimbo's Translations
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #556 on: January 03, 2013, 12:24:01 am »
Well, if it were my intention to be 100% faithful to the Japanese, I would've kept Top Secret, which is what the game is called in Japan. Hell, I could probably omit the subtitle and that would still probably be acceptable. I does what I like and I walk my walk; I don't give a shit what people think.

LostTemplar

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 906
    • View Profile
    • au-ro-ra.net
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #557 on: January 03, 2013, 04:20:44 am »
In English that could imply that this happened around WW2 and he never died or something and is still around for more havoc.

Actually some people think he's never died at the end of WW2 (okay, maybe of old age by now). I think "Return" is okay. Resurrection sounds more like it is the player's mission to ressurect him or something, if you ask me (not so with 復活).

DarknessSavior

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5031
  • Darkness.
    • View Profile
    • DS: No, not the Nintendo one.
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #558 on: January 03, 2013, 02:37:46 pm »
Actually, I think you could be inclusive and get it all. Bionic Commando: The Top Secret Resurrection of Hitler.

Something like that.

~DS
Red Comet: :'( Poor DS. Nobody loves him like RC does. :'(
Sliver-X: LET ME INFRINGE UPON IT WITH MY MOUTH
DSRH - Currently working on: Demon's Blazon, Romancing SaGa, FFIV EasyType.
http://www.youtube.com/user/DarknessSavior

justin3009

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1617
  • Welp
    • View Profile
Re: Titlescreens: Screenshots & Edits [Constructive Criticism Only]
« Reply #559 on: January 03, 2013, 02:57:28 pm »
That's one heck of a long title name if he went with something like that. Sounds kinda run onish.
'We have to find some way to incorporate the general civilians in the plot.'

'We'll kill off children in the Juuban district with an infection where they cough up blood and are found hanging themselves from cherry blossom trees.'