Here is what I was using. The items are listed multiple times here, and I'm not really sure why.
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But for now, my main concern is : how to bring the resurrecting item in the story ?
Put 4E71 4E71 4E71 at address 0xb1c6. I tried, it works.
But Nei is now mandatory. To make it optional is much harder. I'll release it when I'll have implemented a way to get the special item.
If I understand it correctly, you don't actually have to see every line in the game, but since nobody knows exactly what lines you do have to see, the only way to guarantee that is to see every line in the game, at least until someone hacks the game enough to figure out what the real requirement is.
To resurrect Nei via ROM hacking, you can try to put :
4E 71 4E 71 4E 71
at 0xCA58 in the ROM. It should do the trick (not much tested).
I plan to add her some weapon, and maybe a few line of text if she's been revived.
The ability to resurrect Nei would reduce or negate the impact of losing her.
Perhaps adding a side quest to gain a mute, emotionless Neifirst or something along those lines, would allow the player to keep a palette-swapped Nei sort of NPC in the party while maintaining the loss that the main character endures by losing her.