11 March 2016 - Forum Rules
Started by RHDNBot, August 18, 2022, 07:03:38 PM
Quote from: PowerPanda on August 18, 2022, 10:55:43 PMI'm so happy to have been able to contribute to this wonderful project.
Quote from: lilpuddy31 on August 18, 2022, 11:33:37 PMHey Shadow, quick question.In the readme, you have 2 different links to the video track. Is there any diffence between the 2 videos?
QuoteI got a lantern! Now I can light torches by pressing Y!
Quote from: Stifu on August 19, 2022, 03:31:52 PMThank you for everyone's hard work on this. I only started playing the Retranslation a bit, because I was curious if Agahnim would be referred to as a wizard or sorcerer, and it turns out he's a bishop here. The translation looks fine to me so far, but I thought it was a bit strange how, when you get the lantern, the first person is used:I guess that's how it is in the Japanese version, but I think that is awkward or unusual in English, where the second person would normally be used ("You got a lantern!"...). This is especially weird to me considering Link is generally mute, so I wouldn't expect him to be chatty when he's alone.
Quote from: JKPhage on August 19, 2022, 09:36:23 PMI'm definitely planning to add the new update to my collection, because those small additions sound really nice. While I respect the hell out of all involved with the retranslation though, just looking at the google doc I caught half a dozen awkward, poorly worded, or grammatically incorrect bits before I even got to the dialogue for the Sanctuary."And worse, a mysterious evil power began to flow out from there."For one, this is a complete sentence so it shouldn't start with "And". If you want to keep the wording thus, end the previous section with a comma instead of a period, then don't capitalize "And". Also the wording is... very awkward to put it politely. I get trying to be straightforward and literal, but that's just not how people talk in English. If you want to keep it as a single passage with the previous segment, it would read much better as"Many fought to gain entry to the Sacred Realm, yet none who succeeded were heard from again, and worse, a mysterious evil power began to flow forth from it."It matches the tone of the story and eliminates the incredibly uncomfortable phrasing of "flow out from there" which is not how English parses in normal speech.
QuoteThis is better than the original, but now suddenly it *must* be a girl? While the appropriate characters in this case *are* all girls, it seems more coincidence that this is the case at the time of the story and less that they must specifically be female, so I think an adjustment to make it read "100 rupees to anyone who locates a descendant of the Seven Sages. The King" would be preferable, but if we simply *must* stick with the point of them being girls then "100 rupees to anyone who locates a girl descended from the Seven Sages. The King" is correct, rather than "descending".
QuoteThen right after she tells you she knows an escape route she says "We should Head to the main hall on the first floor." with "Head" being capitalized for no apparent reason other than, as far as I can guess, a typo.
QuotePersonally, I also really dislike the distinction of "Bishop" for Agahnim. I get that the original text refers to him as a priest, but the title of Bishop specifically just seems awkward and was chosen just to give him a more grandiose title than "priest", which would making the reading feel less stilted when talking about him. If there's some specific combination of characters that implies the specific rank of "Bishop" then so be it, because I'm no expert, but just on a basic level it doesn't feel quite right in terminology or in terms of reading. If you need to differentiate him from the priest in the Chapel then calling him a "Cleric" would sound much less clunky, while still implying a "similar but different" character concept.
QuoteShadow and Chicken Knife working together on Zelda? This is probably going to be one of the best romhacks in my collection. Thanks so much for all the hard work you put into this so we can all enjoy a classic in its best possible form!
QuoteHas anyone 100% this version yet? The reason I ask is because I tried doing so with the previous version and could not do it due to the Chest Mini-Game absolutely refusing to give me the Heart Piece.
Quote from: Chicken Knife on August 20, 2022, 07:28:34 AMI do appreciate you taking the time to try to help. Nitpicking or not, I'm sure you are very sincere, but I honestly think you have some very important things to learn about English writing.
Quote from: Chicken Knife on August 19, 2022, 08:55:24 PMAs for the first person text, yep -- that is exactly the way the Japanese works. Not only does Link speak in the first person when getting items, but your responses in dialogue are all first person as well. I thought it was strange at first too because we think of Link as this solemn hero rather than a spunky kid with some things to say, but it really did grow on me through the course of the project. And keep this in mind: even if we might be partial and think that the retranslation is the best script out there, the aim isn't to make everyone happy. The aim here is to provide an accurate reflection of the Japanese game along with offering players a fresh new experience, even if it might take some adjustment. We opted to leave the original Redux script as an option for players who might feel put off by the departures of the retranslation.
Quote from: JKPhage on August 20, 2022, 06:00:30 PMI have a degree in English and write for a living. But if you're that dead set on it being good as-is then that's your call. I'm sure some will enjoy it, but I'm very glad that it's an option myself.
Quote from: ChrisHighwind on August 20, 2022, 07:25:13 PMMe personally, I quite enjoy the first-person dialogue. As much as Link is supposed to be someone we project ourselves onto, I can't help but envy how the Japanese text for this and BOTW gives him more personality through the flavor text and helps us get a good look at things through his perspective. The retranslation in general helps it connect more to Ocarina of Time and later games imo by mentioning the sages and the Sacred Realm, and overall gives off a less formal tone in much of the dialogue, which to me makes it that much more immersive and interesting to see what everyone's going to say.
Quote from: Chicken Knife on August 20, 2022, 10:12:44 PMYet numerous elements of your critique give me the sense that you elevate personal preferences to the level of being right or wrong. If it wasn't written exactly the way you would have written it: IE "flow out from there" vs "flow forth from it," then it's an issue worth publicly proclaiming.
Quote from: JKPhage on August 21, 2022, 12:54:10 AMI never said that was objectively right or wrong. I said it was uncomfortable phrasing and not how English parses in normal speech. It sounds stilted and awkward. It's not necessarily incorrect, but just as "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo" is a full and complete sentence that is technically grammatically correct, it is not something that anyone is ever going to use in regular speech. The way you've phrased it just sounds weird and amateurish.I'll note again, as I pointed out in my first response, that I respect the hell out of you and the others responsible for the translation, because you've all provided some fantastic work in tons of previous projects. I'm not trying to belittle you or talk down to you or anything, but these are instances where the phrasing just doesn't sound natural. They're the kind of things that any English professor would strike out in an essay you turned in and tell you it sounds bad, just the same as starting a sentence with "And." No matter what may be technically correct, professional standards of the industry will tell you not to do this because it presents a sentence fragment when taken on it's own, as it's presented in the beginning slides.I know that a few of these things are personal taste/preference, but honestly it was all offered as small adjustments that would improve the flow and sound a lot more natural. That's the biggest thing that's always hammered home for professional writing. If you write something that doesn't sound like something you could hear yourself saying in regular conversation, it comes across as jarring to the reader. I never claimed I was 100% correct, but there were things that jumped out at me one after the other with hardly two lines between them before I even read past the prologue, so I felt like it should be brought up. Given the high quality of your past projects it seemed odd to me. If you're happy with how it reads then rock on.I think you've cast me differently in your head than was my intent when pointing these things out, based on the kind of spiky replies you've offered. If you don't agree then you don't. I'm well aware that fan translations are "take it or leave it", so if it doesn't suit me then it doesn't suit me. I'm not demanding you change it or anything, but I am saying that it might benefit from another proofing/polish pass by a few people to maybe bring some of these things up and make sure you're not having a case of "can't see the forest for the trees" in terms of how things are written. Either way, I've said my piece and I'm not going to keep carrying on like a crazy person. If you don't like what I suggested and I don't like what the translation offers then I'm more than happy to carry on with the original version and never the twain shall meet. I'm glad that you're happy with the project and offered an alternative for those who want it.
Quote from: Powerpuffboysz on August 21, 2022, 07:45:41 PMwill there be a non redux version of the retranslation?
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