Nintendo Entertainment System
No Alternate Title
|Released By||Suicidal Translations|
|Platform||Nintendo Entertainment System|
|Patching Information||No Special Requirements|
|Game Date||13 July 1990|
|Release Date||28 Feb 2003|
|Last Modified||18 February 2016|
Did you ever watch Tron? Thought the Light Cycle scene was really cool? Well, this game is very similar to that, only with a few tweaks and one of the most abysmally bad storylines I’ve ever seen.
The gameplay itself isn’t bad; it’s actually pretty fun. Like in Tron, the goal is to get your opponent to cross either the line you leave behind when you move, or to cross over their own line. However, unlike those lame Light Cycles, you can actually jump over a line or two in this game, a maneuver that will save your ass quite frequently. The difficulty isn’t too bad, since most of your opponents will fall for the same trick over and over again, but environmental effects like the ice level can throw you off badly, since you’ll slide 3 or 4 lines over whenever you pull a corner.
Now, let me state that this game has one of the most retarded storylines I’ve ever seen in a game; a storyline so bad it makes the one from Blaster Master seem believable and brilliant. Any explanation I’ll give won’t come close to explaining it, so here it is:
“Joe was a teacher..”
“He saved a student.”
“A car hit him!”
“Dr. Wit asked him to join his Joke Army and take over the world. Joe refused and became Naked Man!”
“Now save the world!!”
Oh god, where to begin.. First of all, seeing the pictures during this intro will help, I guess.. But I have to wonder; since when does getting mangled by a car suddenly make you a candidate for some evil genius’s army? I guess that’s why it’s called the Joke Army; I know I’d think it was a joke if some guy in a full body cast came wheeling at me in a gurney groaning that he was here to kick my ass and take over the world.
But, Joe refuses, and becomes.. Naked Man? Way to go there, Dr. Wit; give the person who refuses to work for you Super Powers. Maybe he isn’t so much a genius as he is evil. At least Naked Man’s powers seem to suck really badly compared to most super heroes.
Oh, and most of the Joke Army lives up to its name, with one opponent who’s apparently a relative of the Invisible Dick Licking Clown from Citizen X.
But, if you basically ignore the story Wit’s is a pretty fun, albeit short game to kill some time with.
Well, the translation is good, especially since there seemed to be some technical issues with hacking this game. The only japanese text was the intro, which you can read in the game review above.
ROM / ISO Information:
- Wit's (Japan).nes - NOINTRO
- CRC32: 82B8B8BE
- MD5: 90C229C898F3F0FBCA43B8CE5C2A176B
- SHA-1: 80A68B09778F80618552E90458B64515A01F6BB7
- SHA-256: F9A833E14191BCB34FE3AAF0CE6475A8A8025AEC4778E409146EB19474DC4C17
User Review Information
Insert "Wit's end" pun hereReviewed By: goldenband on 26 May 2019
Indeed, it’s true: Wit’s is the Tron light cycles stage made into a complete game – if you can call a game that can be beaten in a quarter-hour “complete”. (OK, it took me a half-hour, but I had to get warmed up.)
That said, there’s room in the world for a trifle like this, and perhaps Wit’s’s biggest virtue is that it doesn’t overstay its welcome. It adds just enough to the formula to keep things interesting, and 15 minutes and six opponents later, you’re done. For a game with one basic gimmick, and with no continues or passwords, that’s about right.
The translation seems fine, assuming the game’s plot was faithfully rendered – and given Eien Ni Hen’s involvement, I’m sure it was. Sure, it’s bizarre and hilarious, but you only see the story if you wait on the title screen long enough for attract mode to kick in (I overlooked it until after I’d beaten the game). As for the technical side of things, I saw no glitches or crashes when I played through the whole game on a flash cart.
Wit’s is no masterpiece – and it has a grammar-scrambling title – but, like a good short story or food cart, it does one thing and does it well. If you enjoyed the gameplay in games like Snake, Surround, and that one stage in Tron, there are far worse ways to spend some minutes.
Version 1.00 Recommended - Yes
|Insert "Wit's end" pun here||goldenband||26 May 2019||1.00||Yes|