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Author Topic: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float  (Read 2850 times)

Jazz

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Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« on: February 24, 2018, 08:10:46 am »
Hi Everyone,

Context is: You enter Draco's Villa who is a Green coloured half-humanoid girl. You have recently seen a character called White Mantle (or as Arle refers to as Mr.Mantle) who was injured. You are given a Machine called Mr.Float (ukabukun / うかぶくん) which allows you to toggle-on and float over non-reachable areas in the game which I now believe Draco thinks it's a necklace originally.

This is now a direct text-dump from the game.

[Arle: enters the room where Draco is]
みどりのかみ… つの…
はね… しっぽ…
しろいマントのひとを
おそったのは やっぱり…

[Draco: annoyed]
しろいマントぁ---っ!?

[Arle: startled]
ひええっ!  ごめんなさい

[Draco]
きいてよ アルル!
あいつヒドいんだよ!

[Draco]
「ここまではこんでくれたら
ネックレスをあげよう」

[Draco]
とかいってたのに はこんだら
「もってない」とかいうんだよ
あたまにきたから あいつを
こらしめてやったんだ!

[Arle]
ところでキミ マントくんから
なにかうばっていかなかった
マントくんが
もっていたものとか…

[Draco]
…あのネックレスか あれは
おもすぎるよ ぜったい!

[Arle]
ネックレス? おもい?

[Event] (A giant disc-shape appears representing the Necklace)

[Draco]
これだよ!

[Arle]
それがネックレス……!?
すごい まりょくをかんじる!
もしかして それが (line had been overlooked)
マントくんのいっていた
きゅうきょくおたすけマシン
「うかぶくん」かな?

(It's shortly then given to Arle and you can toggle it to be used like a hoverboard)
« Last Edit: February 25, 2018, 06:40:11 am by Jazz »
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mz

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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2018, 02:16:06 pm »
romanji
Romaji, not romanji!

Also, please don't put such a long text in a quote block, it makes it very hard to read!

Anyway, here's my shitty take on it:

Arle
緑の神... 角... 羽... しっぽ...
白いマントの人を 襲ったのは やっぱり (White Mantle is a character)
Green god... Horns, wings and a tail...
I guess you're the one who attacked the White Mantle man.

Draco (Draco's face doesn't look impressed)
White Mantleぁ---っ!?
White Mantle... Ah!?

Arle
ひええっ!  ごめんなさい
Hiee! Sorry!
(Don't mix the small tsu with the big one here. Also, you may want to replace that screaming word with any other used more frequently in English.)

Draco
きいてよ アルル!
あいつヒドいんだよ!
Listen up, Arle!
He's a terrible guy!

「ここまではこんでくれたら
ネックレスをあげよう」
"If you could come here (as a favor to me), I shall give you a necklace."

とかいってたのに はこんだら
「もってない」とかいうんだよ!
頭にきたから あいつを 
懲らしめてやったんだ!
Even though I went there, he told me that he didn't have anything!
So I got mad and punished him!

Arle
ところでキミ マントくんから
なにかうばっつていかなかった?
マントくんが 持っていたものとか…
By the way, didn't you go to steal something from Mr. Mantle?
Something Mr. Mantle had...

Draco
…あのネックレスかあれは
重すぎるよ 絶対!
If it's about that necklace, it definitely is too heavy!

Arle
ネックレス? 重い?
The necklace? Heavy?

Draco
これだよ!
This one!

Arle
それがネックレス……!?
すごい まりょくをかんじる!
That's the necklace...!?
I can sense an amazing magical power!

マントくんのいっていた
きゅうきょくおたすけマシン
「うかぶくん」かな?
I wonder if that's the "Mr. Float" that Mr. Mantle was talking about, the ultimate support machine...
There has to be a better life.

Jazz

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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2018, 07:50:27 pm »
Thanks mz for the tips and translation. It gives me a few areas to work with the script.
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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2018, 08:39:01 pm »
Are you sure White Mantle should be capitalized? It looks to me like first it's just "that person with the white mantle/cloak" then they call him マントくん as a nickname, in which case I guess Mr. Mantle sounds appropriate, kind of weird though, could just be something like "mantle/cloak guy".
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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2018, 09:02:04 pm »
I'd translate マント as "cloak" or "cape". Just because it's literally what it translates to doesn't mean you can just translate it as that word, else you'd end up with garbage like "Hey, my handheld's battery is running low, does your mansion have any concents I could use?" No one calls it a "mantle" in English.

Jazz

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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #5 on: February 24, 2018, 09:11:21 pm »
I'd translate マント as "cloak" or "cape". Just because it's literally what it translates to doesn't mean you can just translate it as that word, else you'd end up with garbage like "Hey, my handheld's battery is running low, does your mansion have any concents I could use?" No one calls it a "mantle" in English.

I somewhat agree and have many times thought about using other terms however in the game (and in the Puyo series) most of the names are very literal i.e. Witch, Zombie, Owlbear...

When referring to the person as their name 'White Mantle' doesn't sound as literal to an actual item as white cape/cloak does because of exactly what you said "No one calls it a Mantle". When you battle him, his name is referenced as Shiroi no Manto or White Mantle. However I do see your point when Arle is talking about the character i.e. That White cloak guy...

February 24, 2018, 10:29:38 pm - (Auto Merged - Double Posts are not allowed before 7 days.)

Where Draco say's
きいてよ アルル!
あいつヒドいんだよ!
「ここまではこんでくれたら
ネックレスをあげよう」
とかいってたのに はこんだら
「もってない」とかいうんだよ!
頭にきたから あいつを 
懲らしめてやったんだ!

Could she be saying in other words...?

Let me explain, Arle!
"He said he'd give me a necklace if I come and see him, but he wasted my time. So I dealt to him."?


Also does "おもい" refer to the weight of the Necklace or the share size/bulkiness?
Just wondering if it would make more sense to say that the Necklace was far too big.

If so... I've put together the below dialogue.

Arle
Green hair, horns, wings and a tail...
I guess you're the one who attacked the white cloaked guy.

Draco
Grr... White Mantle!?

Arle
Yeah, sorry!

Draco
Let me explain, Arle!
"He said he'd give me a necklace if I come and see him, but he wasted my time. So I dealt to him."

Arle
You didn't happen to steal something that Mr.Mantle had?

Draco
If you mean the necklace, it was way too big anyway!

Arle
What do you mean?

Draco
See, take a look!

Arle
That's a necklace...!?
I can sense an amazing magical power!
I wonder if that's the "Mr. Float" that Mr. Mantle was talking about, the ultimate support machine...
« Last Edit: February 25, 2018, 12:36:18 am by Jazz »
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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #6 on: February 24, 2018, 11:38:42 pm »
Arle
Green hair, horns, wings and a tail...
I guess you're the one who attacked the White cloak man.

I'm going to echo 730 here. Don't forget that only names are proper nouns. In this case there's no reason to capitalize "White". She's referring to someone whose name she does not know as "that white cloaked guy". I'd use a hyphen in this case to indicate the combined meaning of "white-cloaked", to differentiate from the man being both white (either in color or ethnicity), and cloaked.

When referring to the person as their name 'White Mantle' doesn't sound as literal to an actual item as white cape/cloak does because of exactly what you said "No one calls it a Mantle". When you battle him, his name is referenced as Shiroi no Manto or White Mantle. However I do see your point when Arle is talking about the character i.e. That White cloak guy...

If you want to call this guy "White Mantle" you're well within your rights to do so. However, I think Midna has a point in this case. Think of it like a pulp fiction hero/villain. It reminds me of the recent Fallout 4 side-quest, "The Silver Shroud" who is a comic book hero.

I think calling a character named "Shiroi no Manto" something like "The White Cloak" would be appropriate, though "The White Mantle" sounds fine in this context.

Lastly, isn't "hakonde" a conjugation of "hakobu"?

ここまで運んでくれたら
ネックレスをあげよう

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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #7 on: February 25, 2018, 12:38:01 am »

I think calling a character named "Shiroi no Manto" something like "The White Cloak" would be appropriate, though "The White Mantle" sounds fine in this context.

Great input, thanks.

Also thanks everyone for the feedback. If anyone has any other suggestions, corrections please continue to fire them through.
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mz

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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #8 on: February 25, 2018, 02:16:31 am »
Green hair
I see you used hair again here and edited the first post to 髪! (Among other changes...)

Does that mean that those kanji characters were added by you?

Is this a direct dump of the text or are you transcribing it manually?

Lastly, isn't "hakonde" a conjugation of "hakobu"?

ここまで運んでくれたら
ネックレスをあげよう
I think so! So, could it be "If you bring it here, I'll give you the necklace"?
« Last Edit: February 25, 2018, 02:23:44 am by mz »
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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #9 on: February 25, 2018, 04:20:08 am »
Is this a direct dump of the text or are you transcribing it manually?

I checked a gameplay video out and it looked like it was all in kana so they're probably added in (I'd personally prefer to have OP transcribe/copy it in kana too).

Quote
きいてよ アルル!
あいつヒドいんだよ!
「ここまではこんでくれたら
ネックレスをあげよう」
とかいってたのに はこんだら
「もってない」とかいうんだよ!
頭にきたから あいつを 
懲らしめてやったんだ!

this confused me in the original since it was all split up but I get it now. Basically what mz said but I'd change it a bit.

"Hey, Arle!
That guy's so mean!
He said if I brought(?) it here,
he'd give me a/the necklace,
but I brought it and he was like "I don't have it"!!
I got mad so I beat him up(??)!"

needs more context, like whatをはこぶ, what necklace are they talking about? はこぶ makes me think of something big so maybe it would be more appropriate to have something like "carry" instead of "bring". Also don't know what 懲らしめる would be in this case, maybe it's just verbal instead of physical.
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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #10 on: February 25, 2018, 06:19:56 am »
needs more context, like whatをはこぶ, what necklace are they talking about? はこぶ makes me think of something big so maybe it would be more appropriate to have something like "carry" instead of "bring". Also don't know what 懲らしめる would be in this case, maybe it's just verbal instead of physical.
I was thinking there might be more to hakobu here, but I  looked it up and it looks like it can mean to come or go, so the original interpretation seems okay. "They were saying stuff like, if I made it here they'd give me a necklace. Then I got here, and they're all like, "I don't have it."

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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #11 on: February 25, 2018, 06:42:40 am »
I've updated the first post to now be a direct text-dump from the game. I had manually inserted some kanji and with formatting, removed a line. Sorry for any inconvenience.
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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #12 on: February 25, 2018, 05:21:26 pm »
Ok now I got a better general idea, im gonna translate everything

[Arle: enters the room where Draco is]
Green hair... Horns...
Wings... A tail...
So you're the one who attacked the white-cloaked guy/person/man

[Draco: annoyed]
White-cloaked?!

[Arle: startled]
Ahh!! Sorry!!

[Draco]
Listen Arle!
That guy's so mean!
He said if I brought it here
he would give me a necklace
but when I did he was like "I don't have it".
I got mad so I beat him up!

[Arle]
Also, didn't you steal something?
Like, something the cloak guy had?

[Draco]
Oh, that necklace.
It's way too heavy!

[Arle]
How can a necklace be heavy?

[Event] (A giant disc-shape appears representing the Necklace)

[Draco]
Here!

[Arle]
That's a necklace?!
I can sense incredible magic coming from it! (here I'm actually not sure if the すごい is separate since it has a space, in which case it would be like "Wow! I can sense magic/magical power coming from it!"
Could this be the Ultimate Help/Helpful/Helping Machine "Floaty"
the cloak guy talked about?

I was thinking there might be more to hakobu here, but I  looked it up and it looks like it can mean to come or go, so the original interpretation seems okay. "They were saying stuff like, if I made it here they'd give me a necklace. Then I got here, and they're all like, "I don't have it."
I don't think that's quite right, that just applies to 足を運ぶ, in the way it's being used here it's definitely a thing or person that had to be carried. Can't really tell without context anyways.

Also こらしめる is definitely beat up because they refer to the guy being 襲う before.
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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #13 on: February 25, 2018, 09:05:48 pm »
I'm thinking back on Minda's point around White Mantle for a name and thought of a "Vayle" which is a word-play on Veil which normally they're white. Too out of the box? The characters face is quite hidden under a white hood.

Thanks 730 - this is great. It is confusing on whether Draco helped maybe carry the heavy necklace item somewhere or it was to take someone/something else. So I've been through as much dialogue as possible and put the below pieces of dialogue together which I believe is when Arle see's White Mantle after he's been beaten up.

[WMantle]
ゲホゲホっ!

みどりのかみをした
ハネとツノとしっぽのある
おんなのこに
とつぜん こうげきされて…

…どうやら ここで
たおれていたようだ
おまえにわたすはずだった
きゅうきょくおたすけマシン

『うかぶくん』も やつに
うばわれてしまった…

[Arle 3]
なんてひどい!
どうしてそんなことに?!

[WMantle]
そのおんなのこに
くうちゅうていえん まで
わたしをはこんでくれたら
みたこともないネックレスを
あげる といったのだ

[Arle 6]
…みたこともないネックレス?

[WMantle]
はこんでもらったあと
わたしは おんなのこに
こういったのだ

[WMantle]
みたこともないネックレス
なんか わたしも…
みたこともないし
もってもいない と!
はっはっはっ!

[WMantle]
すると そいつはとつぜん
わたしにおそいかかって
« Last Edit: February 25, 2018, 11:55:52 pm by Jazz »
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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #14 on: February 26, 2018, 03:16:02 am »
そのおんなのこに
くうちゅうていえん まで
わたしをはこんでくれたら
みたこともないネックレスを
あげる といったのだ

She had to carry him.
"I told that girl that if she took me to the Hanging Gardens, (never seen this word, just saw it in a dictionary, you might know better from the context of the game)
I'd give her a necklace that has never been seen before."
I'm assuming the place where you find Draco is the くうちゅうていえん? Because she quotes it as ここ. Are you playing the game (or have you played it) or are you just extracting the lines from the ROM while playing a little bit? It sounds like you're missing context often which wouldn't happen if you were playing it.

And I think the Vayle thing is just too much, like that's an actual name, they haven't given マントくん a name yet (I'm not sure if I should explain this but just in case, when they add honorifics to things like that it's to make them cuter, or personify them in the case of objects/animals, it doesn't have to be an actual name).

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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #15 on: February 26, 2018, 03:47:37 am »
She had to carry him.
"I told that girl that if she took me to the Hanging Gardens, (never seen this word, just saw it in a dictionary, you might know better from the context of the game)
I'd give her a necklace that has never been seen before."
I'm assuming the place where you find Draco is the くうちゅうていえん? Because she quotes it as ここ. Are you playing the game (or have you played it) or are you just extracting the lines from the ROM while playing a little bit? It sounds like you're missing context often which wouldn't happen if you were playing it.

And I think the Vayle thing is just too much, like that's an actual name, they haven't given マントくん a name yet (I'm not sure if I should explain this but just in case, when they add honorifics to things like that it's to make them cuter, or personify them in the case of objects/animals, it doesn't have to be an actual name).

You're right, she does meet Draco in くうちゅうていえん or (Windy Garden/Park). There's no story events that indicate at this point that someone or something was carried visually - maybe it's in the dialogue (which in the code is randomly split up, reused and you get half sentences that have events that point to other areas making it a dream to work with).

Yeah, Vayle is a bit overkill. All the names are so literal that I'm finding it difficult to identify if Arle's describing them, giving them her on cute take on their name or that's their name. I.e. Monster names: Poisonous Bee, Broken Mop, Little Devil... Character names are mentioned as Tough Guy, Long Beard... almost as if it's a world viewed from a 6year old's perception/imagination. So I've just been translating them as they are. Only the main characters who reoccur in the series have actual names.
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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #16 on: February 26, 2018, 03:59:32 am »
Monster names: Poisonous Bee, Broken Mop, Little Devil... Character names are mentioned as Tough Guy, Long Beard... almost as if it's a world viewed from a 6year old's perception/imagination. So I've just been translating them as they are. Only the main characters who reoccur in the series have actual names.
Well that doesn't sound too far off from what I've seen of the game, it looks pretty childish, so why wouldn't the names be childish too? Monster names are probably as literal as you see them, and character names being nicknames she gives them. I'd have to play it to know for sure though...
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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #17 on: February 26, 2018, 04:04:59 am »
Draco does have wings and Mantle doesn't. The area where you meet Draco is only obtainable by finding a certain crystal to use a levitation pad which then teleports you into an area which is above the main map. So maybe Draco was asked to carry/fly the Mantle up to that area...

I'm replaying back through the game knowing the translated references to see if there is something that I missed.
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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #18 on: February 26, 2018, 04:07:11 am »
Draco does have wings and Mantle doesn't. The area where you meet Draco is only obtainable by finding a certain crystal to use a levitation pad which then teleports you into an area which is above the main map. So maybe Draco was asked to carry/fly the Mantle up to that area...

I'm replaying back through the game knowing the translated references to see if there is something that I missed.
yeah, that makes sense
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Re: Adventures of Arle - Draco, Necklace, Mr Float
« Reply #19 on: February 26, 2018, 04:37:45 pm »
I gave translating the dialogue that I posted earlier which gives the pre-event to Draco talking. If anyone can cross-check to see if it looks correct, I'd be very thankful ^_^;

[WMantle]
ゲホゲホっ! 
*cough* *cough*!

みどりのかみをした
ハネとツノとしっぽのある
おんなのこに
とつぜん こうげきされて…
I was attacked by some chick with green hair,
horns, wings and a tail.


…どうやら ここで
たおれていたようだ
おまえにわたすはずだった
きゅうきょくおたすけマシン
『うかぶくん』も やつに
うばわれてしまった…
(Mantle is located at the entrance of the gardens)
...I must've fallen here. - not sure if this is entirely correct. Could be landed here if dropped or collapsed
I was supposed to give you the ultimate support
machine "floaty", but she stole it...
Darn it!

[Arle 3]
なんてひどい!
どうしてそんなことに?!
That's terrible!
Why did it happen?!

[WMantle]
そのおんなのこに
くうちゅうていえん まで (could be 空中, makes sense if it is)
わたしをはこんでくれたら
みたこともないネックレスを
あげる といったのだ
I told her that if she gave me a lift to Sky/Air Gardens,
I'd give her a necklace that has never been seen before.

[Arle 6]
…みたこともないネックレス?
...A necklace thats never been seen?

[WMantle]
はこんでもらったあと
わたしは おんなのこに
こういったのだ
That's exactly what I told her.

[WMantle]
みたこともないネックレス
なんか わたしも…
みたこともないし
もってもいない と!
はっはっはっ!
I haven't seen the necklace either...
I've never seen it, let alone have it!
Hahaha!

[WMantle]
すると そいつはとつぜん
わたしにおそいかかって
「これはもらっていく!」
といって このなかに はいっていったのだ!
Then she screamed at me saying
"I'm taking this!"
...and went back to her place! / ...and left through that passage way! - again not sure.

Arle
悪いのは キミのほうじゃないか!!
It sounds like you deserved it!!
« Last Edit: February 26, 2018, 06:04:12 pm by Jazz »
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