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Author Topic: Coron Land  (Read 2543 times)

KingMike

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Coron Land
« on: December 12, 2014, 12:03:40 am »
A Super Famicom action game I've slowly been working on, trying to translate it.
Though I'd check how well I've done so far.

Will probably play more and transcribe text later (as it's stored so it's not so easy to dump).

This is the story mode, though it also has a four-player deathmatch mode.
The two main characters are a boy named Hyou and a girl named Kiyu.
In the opening, their town statue gets stolen by some (mechanical?) guy named Gatsun.
(thinking about going pretty localization-ish, unsure if I would change the names.)

Opening

Gatsun:
ぐははは…!
Gwahaha...!
ゆきまつりのぞうは
もらっていくぞ!
This winter carnival status is mine!

Hyou:
まてっ!
Wait!
そんなもんをうばって
なんにつかうんだ!?
Whya gotta take it from us?
(What kind of problem do you need to use it?)

Kiyu:
なんのやくにも
たたないわよっ!
We'll be weak without it.

Gatsun:
よけいなおせわだっ!
くらえっ!!
None of your business!
Eat this!
ぐふふふ…
これでせかいに…
えいえんのふゆが
くるのだ…!
Gufufufu...
Now this world...
will be winter FOREVER!

Stage 1
Old man:
たいへんなことじゃ
It's terrible!

ぞうがなければ
ゆきまつりはできんし
We need the statue for the Winter Carnival.

ゆきまつりが
できないと
or the carnival won't...


Kiyu:
できなと…
どーなるの?
No carnival...
and then what?

Old man:
はるがこないのじゃ。
Spring will not be.

Hyou:
わかりました!
このおれがかならず、

ぞうをとりかえして
きます!
Got it!
I won't stop until the statue is returned!

-if choosing Kiyu-
(Hyou)や…やられた。
O...oww.

Hyou - old guy says
やれやれ…きゆ、
おまえもいきなさい。
Lord help us.
Kiyu, please stay back.

Kiyu - old guy says
やれやれ…きゆ、
おまえがいきなさい。
Lord help us.
Kiyu, please go ahead.

-if Hyou chosen, Kiyu says
いやです。
if using Kiyu she says
…はーい。
Yesss.

2P mode last part of cutscene

Old guy:
やれやれ…
Lord help us.

Kiyu:
……………

Old guy:
なにをしておる、
おまえもいかんか!
Whatever my come,
please come back!

Kiyu:
…やっぱり。
Great.
Quote
Sir Howard Stringer, chief executive of Sony, on Christmas sales of the PS3:
"It's a little fortuitous that the Wii is running out of hardware."

Seihen

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Re: Coron Land
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2014, 12:45:11 am »
Well, I don't know what you want me to say. Your translation is all across the board, going from "the gist of what they're saying" to "way off the mark" at times. If you want to do a localization to change what it says for a western audience, then you're welcome to do that. But I don't really understand what the point of asking for feedback is.

geishaboy

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Re: Coron Land
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2014, 05:30:23 am »
Well, I don't know what you want me to say. Your translation is all across the board, going from "the gist of what they're saying" to "way off the mark" at times. If you want to do a localization to change what it says for a western audience, then you're welcome to do that. But I don't really understand what the point of asking for feedback is.

I think what he wanted was for someone to correct his translations.

Well I'm already half way through a family-sized cask of sake, so let me take a look.

Gatsun:
ぐははは…!
Gwahaha...!
ゆきまつりのぞうは
もらっていくぞ!
Time to get myself a nice big snow sculpture
(A ゆきまつりのぞう is an a large sculpture made from snow, typically made for a winter festival)


Hyou:
まてっ!
Wait!
そんなもんをうばって
なんにつかうんだ!?
What are you going to do with that?/What do you need that for?

Kiyu:
なんのやくにも
たたないわよっ!
It's no good to you!/It's of no use to you!
(Or more literally : it won't won't serve any purpose)


Gatsun:
よけいなおせわだっ!
くらえっ!!
None of your business!
Eat this!
ぐふふふ…
これでせかいに…
えいえんのふゆが
くるのだ…!
Gufufufu...
Now this world...
will be winter FOREVER!

Stage 1
Old man:
たいへんなことじゃ
It's terrible!

ぞうがなければ
ゆきまつりはできんし
We need the statue (or sculpture) for the Winter Carnival (festival).

ゆきまつりが
できないと
If we can't have the winter festival...


Kiyu:
できなと…
どーなるの?
No festival...
What will happen?

Old man:
はるがこないのじゃ。
Spring won't come

Hyou:
わかりました!
このおれがかならず、

ぞうをとりかえして
きます!
Got it!
I won't stop until the statue is returned!

-if choosing Kiyu-
(Hyou)や…やられた。
O...oww.

Hyou - old guy says
やれやれ…きゆ、
おまえもいきなさい。
Lord help us.
Kiyu, you go as well

Kiyu - old guy says
やれやれ…きゆ、
おまえがいきなさい。
Lord help us.
Kiyu, get going.

-if Hyou chosen, Kiyu says
いやです。
No
if using Kiyu she says
…はーい。
Oh-Kay.

2P mode last part of cutscene

Old guy:
やれやれ…
Lord help us.

Kiyu:
……………

Old guy:
なにをしておる、
おまえもいかんか!
What are you doing?
You're going too!
(literally : What are you doing? You're not going? - but said in such a way that it becomes an imperative)


Kiyu:
…やっぱり。
Great.

...or something like that. Check the English against the cut-scene and edit it to match what's happening.
« Last Edit: December 12, 2014, 07:50:26 pm by geishaboy »

KingMike

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Re: Coron Land
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2014, 09:46:35 am »
Hyou - old guy says
やれやれ…きゆ、
おまえもいきなさい。
Lord help us.
Kiyu, you go as well

Kiyu - old guy says
やれやれ…きゆ、
おまえがいきなさい。
Lord help us.
Kiyu, get going.
That was confusing to me.
The first is if the player chooses to play as Hyou. Kiyu is then left behind in town (or so it seems).
The second is if the player plays as Kiyu. Hyou will run off, then comes back and stumbles, and then Kiyu goes off (to start the game).

I guess I'll have to wait for another cutscene for further context.
Quote
Sir Howard Stringer, chief executive of Sony, on Christmas sales of the PS3:
"It's a little fortuitous that the Wii is running out of hardware."

Pennywise

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Re: Coron Land
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2014, 12:43:10 pm »
If the names have some sort of meaning behind them, it wouldn't be a bad idea to try to localize and retain the spirit of the original.

Seihen

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Re: Coron Land
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2014, 08:57:51 pm »
My best guess is that Hyou is 氷 (ice) and Kiyu is is きゆ, which happens to be ゆき (雪, snow) read backwards. The same thing with Olimar being Mario backwards in Japanese.

So.. Ice and Snow, just cleverly written.

KingMike

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Re: Coron Land
« Reply #6 on: October 25, 2017, 10:36:02 pm »
Bringing this project back from the dead.
I hope I can actually play this through this time and translate it.
Anybody want to check my translations?
(again, there are three versions of each cutscene: one for each of the two playable characters (Hyou and Kiyu), and two-player mode)
Hyou and Kiyu are the two human children protagonists, Gatsun I think is a robo-cat alien thing.

Stage 1 Boss
(Hyou alone or 2P)
あっ!おまえは…
Ah! You are...

(Gatsun)
ふっ、
とんでひにいる
なつのむしとは、
おまえのことだ。
You are like a summer insect, flying on fire!

(Kiyu alone)
ふっ…
いまはふゆですわ!
Huh...
It's winter!

(Gatsun, 1P Kiyu game)
う…うるさいっ!
Sh... shut up!

ここでぢごくに
おちるがいい!
You should fall to hell here!

(Hyou alone or 2P)
へっ、やれるもんなら
やってみな!
Hey, if I can do something, I gotta try!

(Kiyu in 2P)
ふっ…
かかってきなさい。
Huh...
Come on!

Stage 2
(Hyou alone or 2P)
ぞうがばらばらに
されてる!
The sculpture is broken into pieces!

(Kiyu alone)
ぞうがばらばら…
The sculpture is in pieces...

(Gatsu)
ふふふ…
Fufufu...

のこりのぱーつを
とりもどしたくば、
If you need the other parts,

かざんちたいまで
くるのだな!
get going to the volcanic zone!

(Hyou/2P)
よぉ~っし!
やってやるぜ!
Alright, I'm gonna do it!

(Kiyu/2P)
さて、いきますか。
Well, are you here?
Quote
Sir Howard Stringer, chief executive of Sony, on Christmas sales of the PS3:
"It's a little fortuitous that the Wii is running out of hardware."

filler

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Re: Coron Land
« Reply #7 on: October 25, 2017, 11:59:15 pm »
Stage 1 Boss
(Hyou alone or 2P)
あっ!おまえは…
Oh! You are...

(Gatsun)
ふっ、
とんでひにいる
なつのむしとは、
おまえのことだ。
Hmph. You're like a moth to a flame.

(Kiyu alone)
ふっ…
いまはふゆですわ!
Huh...
But it's winter!

(Gatsun, 1P Kiyu game)
う…うるさいっ!
S-Shut up!

ここでぢごくに
おちるがいい!
You can just go to hell right here!

(Hyou alone or 2P)
へっ、やれるもんなら
やってみな!
Heh, go ahead and try it, if you can!

(Kiyu in 2P)
ふっ…
かかってきなさい。
Hmph...
Bring it on!

Stage 2
(Hyou alone or 2P)
ぞうがばらばらに
されてる!
The sculpture is broken into pieces!

(Kiyu alone)
ぞうがばらばら…
The sculpture is in pieces...

(Gatsu)
ふふふ…
Heh-heh-heh...

のこりのぱーつを
とりもどしたくば、
If you want to recover the remaining parts,

かざんちたいまで
くるのだな!
you'll need to (lit: come) to the volcanic zone!

(Hyou/2P)
よぉ~っし!
やってやるぜ!
All right, I'll give it a try!

(Kiyu/2P)
さて、いきますか。
Well, shall we go?

October 26, 2017, 12:32:12 am - (Auto Merged - Double Posts are not allowed before 7 days.)
BTW: You may want to confirm the character ぢ(di) is correct here. It's normally じごく not ぢごく, but that could be some kind of emphasis/color.
« Last Edit: October 26, 2017, 12:42:01 am by filler »

KingMike

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Re: Coron Land
« Reply #8 on: October 26, 2017, 12:38:51 am »
Thanks, although I'm guessing if I go with the "moth to a flame" line, then the "it's winter" line should be changed to some dumb-kid response. Maybe like "I'm not supposed to play with fire."

Yes, the "ぢ" character is definitely what the game used. I assumed it was jigoku when I read it, but I wondered if maybe it was a childish reading level thing or something. Example ぱーつ, the whole thing is in hiragana, which is something that often happens on the Famicom but less but doesn't normally happen on the Super Famicom, especially when they found room for a 16x16 font. Which I cut down to 8x8 for the translation. Probably would've gone with 8x16 but I think I few
lines I need that extra line of screen space.)
« Last Edit: October 26, 2017, 12:48:29 am by KingMike »
Quote
Sir Howard Stringer, chief executive of Sony, on Christmas sales of the PS3:
"It's a little fortuitous that the Wii is running out of hardware."

filler

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Re: Coron Land
« Reply #9 on: October 26, 2017, 12:43:55 am »
Thanks, although I'm guessing if I go with the "moth to a flame" line, then the "it's winter" line should be changed to some dumb-kid response. Maybe like "I'm not supposed to play with fire."
My pleasure. I keep fiddling with the wording to make it as accurate as I can, but it should be good now. That sounds fine, though it's not bad the way it is. There aren't many moths in winter, at least if it's cold and snowing in that particular climate.