Throughout this shiroi had to approve the edits because I don't speak Japanese, only katakana, and she wanted all the lines to be as close to the japanese as possible.Well, there's your problem right there.
Here's a good example: watch the dub of Overman King Gainer. I don't care if you buy the DVD or YouTube it or whatever...just watch a few eps and tell me your impressions. It's a cosmic irony that Tony Oliver, the man behind the infamous Samurai Pizza Cats adlib, is responsible for this: the script is so freakin' literal
that it's a wonder they could get anybody to recite their lines with a straight face...or worse, without throwing the script into the nearest garbage can and saying "What is this @#$%?".
It's an unfortunate fact that literal translations do not sound natural,
and people who attempt to "stay faithful to the Japanese version" by trying to retain every single literal meaning will succeed only in killing the most important part about the original version: that it was meant to be enjoyed
by its target audience.
I'll probably be vilified for this by somebody,
but in my translation of Sylvanian Families, I dare say that about 90% of my English script is drastic embellishment and 10% is pure original, throwing out the Japanese script entirely. I'm trying my best to make this a fun
game and capture something of a cute, happy but not too
saccharine spirit; unfortunately, there's not much spirit at all in the original dialogue. There's some humor and subtle jokes I've added to the story; nothing out-of-character (not obviously, anyway), but enough extra script material to fill gaps left by the original (for instance, you find Emma's frying pan in the cave for no apparent reason; Gromwell's tale of his adventure in the cave, which is originally how you know where to find the frying pan, now mentions an encounter with a "ghostly apparition" that happens to be a sleepwalking Emma depositing her precious utensil in a treasure chest before going back to bed). Is my script accurate? Yes, in that it includes most of the original material in some form. Is it exactly the same one as the original? No, and I would have to say, it's for the better.
Portopia Renzoku Satsujin Jiken, thankfully, would not require such drastic measures taken: just a fair bit of sprucing up ("lazily extorting money"?). I've still got a fair bit of work to do on Sylvanian Families 1, but once I'm done (or bored again ^_^;), I'll see what I can do. I'll need both the original script and the translation...and to know any restrictions or quirks I'll need to abide by. How much free space in the expanded ROM do I have to work with?